It could be worse, he could be President.
Finally, as the first 100 days drew to a close, the Bush Commission reported a severe scarcity of baseballs. The shortage is attributed to a scarcity of leather resultant from recent incidents of mad cow and foot & mouth disease. The A’s, Padres, Giants, and Dodgers seem to have been inexplicably but particularly hard hit by this shortage. Although some independent investigators estimate the number of available baseballs in the tens of millions and point out that neither of these diseases has stricken cattle in the United States, the Bush Commission has developed a comprehensive plan for dealing with the baseball crisis. The Vice Commissioner, a former executive in the lumber industry, outlined part of the plan in which the skins of spotted owls will be substituted for the cowhide traditionally used to cover baseballs.
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