[ via the Muted Horn ] How does one interpret this paen to Imperial Hegemony by the Weekly Standard’s web editor Johnathan Last? Is he joking?
Make no mistake, as emperor, Palpatine is a dictator–but a relatively benign one, like Pinochet. It’s a dictatorship people can do business with. They collect taxes and patrol the skies. They try to stop organized crime (in the form of the smuggling rings run by the Hutts). The Empire has virtually no effect on the daily life of the average, law-abiding citizen.
Well I guess those thousands of law-abiding citizens Pinochet murdered don’t count. And as an average, law-abiding citizen, I’d object to some clone in poly-carbon armor shoving a blaster in my face and demanding to see the receipt for my drones. But it gets worse.
But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear. Poor Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen reach a grisly end, but only after they aid the rebellion by hiding Luke and harboring two fugitive droids. They aren’t given due process, but they are traitors.
Um, treason requires the testimony of at least two witnesses, as well as a fair trial. You’re a real piece of work, you know that?
Ah, but then there’s the capper, our little wingnut editor tries to hand-wave away blowing up planets.
Leia’s lies are perfectly defensible–she thinks she’s serving the greater good–but they make her wholly unreliable on the question of whether or not Alderaan really is peaceful and defenseless. If anything, since Leia is a high-ranking member of the rebellion and the princess of Alderaan, it would be reasonable to suspect that Alderaan is a front for Rebel activity or at least home to many more spies and insurgents like Leia.
I’m glad this guy doesn’t work for Bush. He’d be arguing that we should skip the precision bombing, and nuke Afghanistan instead.
Watch your back Mr. Last, in case a computer animated muppet goes bullet-time on you and gives you the ass-kicking you deserve for spouting sophomoric bilge.
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