Not bad for a boy from San Francisco:
History knows Joseph Paul DiMaggio as the great Yankee outfielder, yet scholars also know him as a brilliant inventor. To this day, we use his gravity-fed coffee-making machine. You pay homage to him, Sophie, whenever you sip a “cup of Joe.” As the fully ordained “Yankee Clipper,” DiMaggio became the chief steward of Ruth’s vengeful curse. To that end, he recruited an inner circle of presidents, popes and artists, including the actress Marilyn Monroe, who married him. Some Yankeeologists believe DiMaggio encoded the curse, so Red Sox scholars could never decipher it.
So no one has been able to solve the Code?
Many tried. In the 1980’s, a few scholars managed to solve DiMaggio’s diabolically complex digital clock instructions, which allowed them to activate his coffee machine automatically. Boston scion Ted Williams grew so despondent over the lack of progress that he opted to have himself, after death, decapitated and frozen in liquid nitrogen, to be revived if the Code is broken.
